Indoctrination -–A Handy Reference

1. You were born in sin.

2. You must live in perpetual guilt.

3. Love your parents. Feel dizzy with gratitude that they brought you into the world.

4. Your life is not yours for the taking. If it sucks, tough luck. Suck it up.

5. There is a higher power who watches over you. He is called God. His name is ___ *insert Yahweh/Vishnu/Allah/Flying Spaghetti Monster/Eris as applicable*

6. You cannot see him because he lives in Heaven. You don’t need to see him to know he lives there; you just need to think he does.

7. Be meek. The more bovine you are the more your chances of getting a ticket to Heaven.

8. Heaven is up above and Hell is down below

9. People who live up North are better

10. Listen to parents and teachers

11. Don’t talk back

12. Respect mankind (womankind optional)

13. Women must bear children.

14. Women must also devote their life to raising children

15. Don’t touch yourself there. It’s a disgusting part of your body.

16. Pleasure is sin

17. Sex? I don’t know what you are talking about

18. Men can pee standing up. So they are better

19. Men do not have wombs. So they don’t have to worry about getting knocked up. So they can walk alone in the night. So they are better

20. Women are meant to have wombs so they can reproduce. That’s the primary responsibility of a woman

21. Family is everything

22. Marry.

23. The cool ones marry only for love.

24. Stay married. Love is not a requisite

25. Make children as soon as you get married or when the marriage is about to fall apart, so you will stay married for their sake

26. A woman feels fulfilled when she is pregnant. And no, it’s not a gastric feeling of fullness.

27. If you don’t have children, your life is empty

28. Fuck for pleasure? You might as well fuck for money.

29. Whores are bad.

30. Men are tempted easily. Women’s bodies ought to be fully covered so as not to arouse unholy passions

31. All fleshly passions are unholy

32. Love your country

33. Kill for your country

34. Patriotism is a virtue. It’s like religion. Do not question.

35. Kill the enemy. Only the bravest of the brave can do that

36. Homosexuals are deviant

37. So are transvestites

38. Depending on your nationality and religious beliefs, animal excreta becomes sacred. So does an erect penis.

39. No, dildos can’t be worshipped.

40. Indulge a woman but not to the point where she gets the better of a man

41. If she does, blame it on PMS and suggest she is confused and that her thinking is muddled

42. Screw around, have fun. Just make sure you choose the right religion which either condones screwing around or which purges all sins through confession

43. People who use big words are more intelligent. They are better.

44. 36-24-36

45. Size zero

46. Size does matter

47. Give it to the sluts asking for it. They should know better than to provoke.

48. A husband is the most prized possession of a wife

49. A son is the most prized possession of a man

50. Be grateful for your life.

and so on and so forth…